I wish I could say I came up with that.
Thank you, Jenna Marbles. Her most recent video on gurl crushes was hilarious, as are all her other videos. But one of the things I enjoy most about Jenna Marbles is that she’s really open and honest about things that people don’t seem to talk about enough. She talks about real issues (why gurls hate each other, weird lessons that Disney movies teach kids, etc.) in a humorous way and gets millions of views for it. She knows what she’s talking about, she knows how to relate to people and she knows how to get attention. Compared to other popular YouTubers, you can tell she’s earned that masters in Psych.
Of course you can see where this is going. She’s right: Gurl crushes are ubiquitous and natural. Personally I enjoy having them, and don’t mind if my partner jokingly asks me if I am a closet lesbian. There’s a reason for all this. To steal the words out of my roommate’s mouth, women seem to be much more fluid when it comes to sexuality. Or at least more open about it than their heterosexual counterparts (I find gay men are also generally very open about their sexuality, though not necessarily as fluid). What she meant by fluid is women are much more comfortable with the idea/possibility of different sexual experiences. Whether it be an encounter with a woman of the same gender or discovering a new kink, in her experience and mine women appear to be more willing to at least try. This is not to say that men don’t fall into this category too, but it seems less common in part because society infuses them with such rigid ideas of male sexuality. Most of my close friends (who are almost all women) are bisexual or open-minded. I myself fall into the latter category. I don’t have a whole lot of friends who would classify as 100 percent gay or straight. We’re all somewhere between a 1 and a 5 on the Kinsey scale. Probably in part as a result of growing up in this type of environment, I’m a firm believer that you fall in love with the person and are attracted to people and the gender preference is partly biological and partly a result of society. An example would be every gurl I have met who is ‘straight’ until the right woman comes along. And I have seen this with men too. Don’t be offended, I’m just calling it like I see it.
So lesbihonest here, ladies, and talk about the women we adore. I don’t know any gurl who doesn’t harbour a small or large passion for another gurl (famous or otherwise). I’ll share my latest gurl crushes since I know you’re just dying to know. I’ll rank them according to the Jenna Marbles levels. 1 means “I love you, like I wanna be your best friend,” 2 is “I love you a LOT…I want to be you,” and 3 is “given the right circumstances, I would make a scissor sandwich with you.” Don’t pretend you don’t know what she’s talking about.
(Note: I have about a gazillion gurl crushes – these are just a few off the top of my head.)
1. Kristen Bauer van Straten, or Pam in True Blood. I’ve been on the Pam train since day one. Now that we’re seeing a whole lot more in season 5, my love has only increased. Women like her prove that turning 40 isn’t the end of beauty.
2. I can’t quite decide whether young rapper Iggy Azalea is fashionable and clever, or trashy and predictable. Either way she’s damn fine. I’m not the only one to recognize this; she’s already been signed with Wilhelmina International Models and she hasn’t even released one full album yet.
3. Christina Hendricks is a major one. In fact she might be the top of the level 3 list for me. As someone recently said to me, “gurl boner.” Seriously. This is no secret. She could be my wife.
If you haven’t watched the video yet, here it is so we can gush about foxy ladies together: