Relationships are tricky. Especially when you start dating as teenagers. My first (and only, so far) relationship was pretty horrific but I have learned some valuable lessons, thanks to me ex (henceforth referred to as “C”).
First, jealousy is the venom that will suck the life from any bond. I glanced at another guy? That’s reason enough to tear into me for finding another guy attractive. Apparently, in C’s mind, I wanted to straddle that guy on one of the mall’s benches. To be honest, I couldn’t even remember who the hell I had “checked out.” It took years for C to outgrow the childish insecurities that fuelled his jealousy, and by that time I had already begun to despise him.
Next, don’t forget to take a breather. I know, I know… when you first start dating that new person, you are completely infatuated. You want to spend every waking moment with your arms – or legs – wrapped around your new found love. Well, stop. The first year of my relationship with C, we spent almost every day and night together. We made excuses to friends so that we could just lie in bed all day. Imagine what the outcome of that was! You guessed it, bye-bye C and bye-bye to most of my former friends. And who can blame them? I ditched them countless times to spend horny afternoons frolicking with C. Thank god I kept contact with my best friend, who helped me recover from my breakup and reintroduced me to my former high school pals.
Finally, don’t let the sex go out of your relationship. Keep it new and interesting. Toys, DVDs, hotels, showers, whips and chains, if you’re into that. And if you find yourself feeling disgusted at the thought of hopping into bed with that other person, call it quits. Maybe I’m a cynic… All I know is that for the last year of my relationship with C, I despised sleeping with him. The years of jealousy and fighting left me with a deep knot of hatred in my gut. He irritated me to no end. The insecurities that caused his jealously also led to problems in the bedroom. I’m not even sure if I’ve ever seen him fully naked. Hmm. There’s an epiphany for you: If you’re not comfortable enough to parade proud and naked in front of your significant other, than something needs to change!
C and I ended things a little over a year ago and it was a pretty rough finale.
I was fifteen when I met him and I was twenty-one when we broke up. I won’t lie and say it was easy to move on. It wasn’t. Yes, I truly disliked him by that point, but I was also still in love with him. After everything settled down, however, I realized that I had just removed 200 pounds of jealous, angry fat. And shit, did I feel lighter.
I am single and I love it. I feel free. I love not having to answer to anyone. I love that I can look at and talk to whoever I want. I love that I can go watch a fucking movie with Ryan Reynolds in it and not be scolded for it! I am excited for my future. I better understand how a healthy relationship should be and I can’t wait to meet the person who fulfills that. But honestly, I’m in no rush. I’m enjoying my sweet, sweet freedom.