There you have it! I have uttered the words I never thought I would say. I am not just sick of shopping; I have become a junky. You see, there is a certain high you get – a rush of endorphins – from buying that beautiful dress or that fine silk shirt. There is an addiction behind every Pinterest post in Women’s Clothing to see where that lovely pair of shoes came from. There is an addictive quality to every issue of Instyle that I pour over; I trace that pretty dress back to the website it came from, loving its supposed uniqueness. And as I browse through the mall I feel like I have to get something – just a little something; I need that hair spray that makes your hair shine; I need that lace skirt because, well, it is a-line and that is hard to find in a skirt… plus it’s lace and that is so ‘in’ and so lovely.
I thought after the month of picking out the perfect Christmas presents I would have had enough of the mall at least. 2 days ago walking through the mall I only bought what I needed. I bought bus tickets, stamps, Christmas cards, and hair volumizer (because I really did actually need that). I am becoming better at going to the mall, ignoring Jacob, Banana Republic, Le Chateau and Sephora. It just seems I am always buying stuff and I’m sick of it; yet some things I really do need!
And do not get me started on the Internet. Online shopping has become an addiction that I cannot shake. Unlimited or nearly unlimited selection and sizing, easy returns that include return shipping labels and/or free shipping for $50.00. Groupons and Living Socials to spas sometimes save money – but let’s face it, I’m addicted and bored and when I start not receiving those packages and deals I feel empty. That shopping high fades and I’m left with that slightly sick feeling. What does a gurl with health problems – whose ability to work and do physical activity is lowered – do? I don’t know how I will just stop shopping, but I do know after my last order comes in this week that this will be it for the shopping of clothing and accessories; this time I have to break the habit and find that high somewhere else – where, I do not know. Writing helps. I used to get that rush of endorphins from exercise. But now where?
I have these lofty goals to save and pay off my credit card. I want to save in my Tax Free Savings Account and save so that in May I can actually spend just a little bit on shopping in Montreal when I go for a weeks vacation. I need to save for the future. But this shopping addiction is dangerous for me. I need more things to do – less things that involve browsing the Internet for clothes. It has become a hobby – really, it has always been one. I still want to be fashionable, but I want to follow my budget too. I need to learn how to do this for life. So yes, I have to give up shopping; that thorn in my side. But what is really in the balance here besides financial stability is self control; and one must always have self control to some extent. In this case, it is okay for me to buy an outfit once a month, it is not okay for me to do this every week.
I feel very disconcerted admitting this. But think of it as a my early New Years resolution: It’s better to just start doing something than to wait and do more damage. Along with the usual ‘do more exercise’ I will do almost no excess shopping. I’ll buy only what I need and ignore those longings for spring dresses, holiday cuffs that sparkle, and silky lingerie – I love Victoria Secret – but no longer. My goal is nearly 5 months without unnecessary shopping until Montreal. I have built my dream wardrobe – all the clothes I never could buy before when I went to school and worked full time. The funny thing about being ill is that I often have no place to wear these great clothes.
Do you find shopping addictive? What is your New Years resolution?