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#FlurtsPlusSizeGiveaway – Our Interview with Kelly Shibari & the Contest of the Summer

by July 7, 2014
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Kelly Shibari is mainstream porn’s answer to body diversity. She is a woman of size and has been approached over the years by a constantly growing fan base of larger women and couples asking her how they can enjoy sex. After seeing the need for education in the realm of Plus Size Sex, Kelly Shibari joined forces with Jessica Drake (the master mind behind Jessica Drake’s Wicked Guide to Sex) to bring women and couples every where the sex and educational Jessica Drake’s Wicked Guide to Sex: Plus Size.

Now they want YOU to have a copy! Flurt has teamed up with the amazing Kelly Shibari and Jessica Drake power team to bring you #FlurtsPlusSizeGiveaway. To celebrate the launch of this month-long contest, we caught up with Kelly to ask her some questions about porn, her experience and the Wicked Guide she loved making.

Flurt: Tell us a bit about your collaboration with Jessica Drake on the Wicked Guide to Sex: Plus Size.

KS: I’ve wanted to do a plus size educational for wicked for almost four years now and after about seven years now, I’ve wanted to find more interesting aspects of the industry and I find education to be a way of giving back. Sometimes in porn, you’re exposed to learnings and education on sex a lot more only because you have sex more frequently and you get to experience more positions. A lot of my fanbase is plus size couples – and as such, twitter and conventions are a place where lots of my fans ask questions, and I always try to find some resources, like blogs and books on body confidence, but there was never anything out there that was a video on plus size sex – including positions, education and body positivity.

A lot of the companies I pitched the idea to were a bit luke warm – they seemed to not understand the demographic. Since then, the market for plus size has become more main-stream. Luckily enough, I ran into Jessica Drake and asked her if she would be interested. She immediately wanted to do it. It took about a year and a half of coordinating to get into the project and we decided to shoot it right after this past AVN in January.

Flurt: What was the process of writing and shooting the movie like?

KS: We cover a lot of the same things sex-ed videos cover; positions, toys, etc – there a lot of plus size people who are quite flexible and even non plus size people who are not flexible – so we wanted to explore positions of maximum penetration with the least amount of joint strain. We also wanted to mention that these are not the be all end all of positions but rather a guide to getting started. We also have three bonus scenes that you can watch if you chose – it’s the non-sex ed part of the movie, three plus size performers doing porn scenes. There is the option of educational commentary or you can watch it as regular porn.

I’ve found that a lot f sex-ed videos don’t talk about relationship communication and body confidence. No matter if you’re plus size or not, everyone has body confidence issues; we just don’t talk about it. This happens to people who have always been bigger or even people who are smaller – our bodies change with life and with age. We [also] wanted to include plus size men in the movie because they face a lot of these issues as well.

We did a body confidence exercise, which is about getting in touch with your body, one exercise with your partner and one exercise just by yourself. We also did a communication exercise where we explored language and communication; we looked at words such as curvy, fat, and so on so we can teach our partners the words we like to have used about us when they are talking to or describing us. As the trust builds in a relationship, we can begin to advocate for the language we like.

Flurt:  You mention the growing acceptance of larger bodies in the mainstream. What do you think has influenced this?

KS: That’s interesting because plus size men and women have always been around. [I think it’s been because of] social media and generally more visibility… The interesting thing about social media, despite the negative things we see online, we have become a more compassionate generation – we do fundraising, community efforts and things like that. When you start having communities do more public displays of demanding acceptance and respect – its kind of grass roots but then we have celebrities saying they want to be a part of it, like recently, Melissa McCarthy had an issue finding a designer for her Oscar dress. Five years ago, you would’ve only heard about it in an interview once or a press release. But now with social media, she was able to blog about it and tweet about it and people jumped on board and it got spread around. Plus size people are also the comedian but, when McCarthy starts doing movies wherein she’s the headliner, we are taking steps in the right direction.

These things come in waves – even in plus size porn – when I started seven years ago I was coming in at the end of a plus size wave. It’s been in the past two or three years its been re-emerging.

Flurt:  Do you consider yourself a feminist or an activist?

KS: I didn’t gain weight and get on a soapbox to talk about it. I’ve always been this way. It’s funny when I get nominated for Feminist Porn Awards, because I’ve always been a Feminist and people are just people – it’s less about acceptance and less about taking a stand and more about just wanting to do something and then just doing it without waiting for someones help.

For example, Kink.com wouldn’t hire me so I started paddedkink.com (which doesn’t exist anymore) because didn’t fit the bill for Kink.com’s size profiles. It was me and some friends who put some videos together; It was never meant to be political it was just something I wanted to do. I only took it down because I didn’t have the time to dedicate to its growth. After padded kink I did a fan bukkake and there was a lot of controversy because I was blowing 18 guys and had them cum on me. It was feminist to me because I wanted to do so I did it.

Flurt: What are you hoping that this DVD adds to the conversation on body positivity and fat acceptance?

KS: I hope people can have more sex than two people, under the covers, with the lights  off and t-shirts on [she laughs]. What I would like to see is couples having much more open sex, without the lights off, without the t-shirt on – and plus size women wanting to wear lingerie and showing off their bodies and men too. I want a more open conversation about what works for you. Now with the internet, social media and things like tube sites, there are a lot more people seeking out plus size porn.When they see the plus size higher quality stuff, they see how good these performers look and then the viewers will think ‘hey I actually look good’!Now that we know this exists, we can talk about how we can make your relationship better and your sex better.

We can’t wait to watch Jessica Drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex: Plus Size with Kelly Shibari! Stay tuned for a review and more interviews with the amazing women behind the films. For now, head over to twitter and get tweeting for your chance to win a copy of the DVD!

 All you have to do is follow @flurtmagazine on twitter and tweet this article with the hashtag #FlurtsPlusSizeGiveaway and mention @KellyShibari and @theJessicaDrake.

Tweet your way to Wicked Sex!

 


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