Regular orgasms lower stress, prevent insomnia, cure headaches, boost your mood, boost your immune system and can even stimulate your brain. Even though you may have a dedicated and loving partner,incorporating some DIY-pleasure into your self-care routine can make a huge difference in your overall happiness. Here are 10 steps to the perfect date night with yourself.
1. Turn off your phone and make sure you have about 45 minutes to 2 hours to yourself.
2. Run a bath. Use a bath bomb (I love Lush’s Sex Bomb or some bath oil). Grab an erotic book, like Pride and Prejudice: The Wild and Wanton Edition or throw on a sexy playlist (like the aptly titled 8 Tracks playlist, Girl You Earned It) to help you get in the mood.
3. As the bath is running, get in it and trickle water over your nipples and other sensitive areas (these can be different for everyone, so play around with gently touching yourself in different places.)
4. When there are a few inches of water, slide yourself to the foot of the tub with your legs spread so that the water is running directly over your clitoris and labia. This is a pretty common technique that most discover early in puberty, but it still does the trick and is one of the easiest and most relaxing ways to reach orgasm. Do your best to avoid any manual stimulation, instead use your free hands to caress your breasts, stomach and thighs. Masturbation isn’t just a self-induced quickie, it’s a process of becoming intimate with yourself, so don’t give up or rush it. The tub is a great place to play with vaginal (and anal) penetration – a silicone (waterproof) dildo is a fantastic way to find and explore your g-spot, and many are shaped precisely to find the almond-shaped spot on the front of your vaginal wall.
5. Now that you’ve orgasmed, sink back into the tub in a comfortable position. Slow your breathing like you’re about to meditate. Simply focus on your body, closing your eyes and exploring yourself with your fingers. Your clitoris will be very sensitive, so avoid directly stimulation for now. Take a few minutes and explore different areas of your vulva, vagina, pelvis and anus.
6. Take some time to wash your hair and face, and check in with yourself. How are you feeling? What emotions came out of your orgasm? Are there any worries or insecurities preventing you from being absolutely in the moment? Take a few moments for self-love before you get out of the bath.
7. Once out of the tub, do some pampering. Apply a face or hair mask and slather lotion over your entire body. Put on some comfortable clothes and lie down in bed. Make sure you’re warm. Remember that even more than the orgasm, relaxation and becoming intimate with yourself is the most important part of the process.
8. If you’re comfortable with toys and own one or a few, grab your favourite (if not, see the next step). You can use an affordable bullet vibrator to directly or indirectly stimulate your clitoris. Lube can be extremely useful if you’re uncomfortable or not producing as much fluid as you’d like. Warming or tingling lube can also help to increase pleasure. You can use the vibrator all around the clitoris and vulva, and if you’re feeling too sensitive you can also use it through your underwear for an added boundary. When selecting a vibrator, look for one with multiple speeds so you can find the one that works best for you. Nipple stimulating gel or balm can maximize the experience as well, but always patch test it on non-sensitive skin like your hands before some self-love to make sure you aren’t allergic!
9. Using your vibrator or manual stimulation, build up the pressure of an impending orgasm, and then just before you cum, stop. Build up the pressure again, this time adding in penetration or anal play if you like. Patting gently or mimicking a tickling movement on or around the clitoris can be an exciting new sensation if rubbing and fingering doesn’t quite get you off.
10. Repeat the above step as much as you can stand and let yourself orgasm. The build-up makes the penultimate orgasm just THAT much more satisfying. Once you’re done, just as you would lie down with a lover for a few moments after sex, lie down with yourself. Appreciate the time you spent being intimate with yourself and make sure you’re in a good head space.
What do you think of this date idea with yourself? Do you have a better idea for the ultimate orgasm? Let me know in the comments below!