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Why Women Are Marrying Themselves

by February 20, 2016
filed under Sex & Dating
Topics ,

Woman wearing a flower crown

Daily Beast

Recently, sologamy has received a lot of attention online as a growing trend. For those who are unaware, sologamy refers to marrying yourself. Over the past 20 years since it has begun, quite a few women have taken part in the practice. The first woman to do so was Linda Baker in the year of 1993, and many women have since followed in her footsteps.

So, why would anyone want to marry themselves? To be alone for the rest of their lives? Does this give them an excuse to an antisocial cat lady? Not at all. Many women were interested in sologamy simply because they liked the idea of applying the traditional vows of marriage to themselves.

Most of the people who partake in self-marriage are women in their thirties, likely because that’s when most feel the pressure to settle down. Despite the fact that sologamy isn’t legally recognized, there are still many benefits in doing so. Some of these benefits include no pressure to change your last name, freedom from marital problems that could result in divorce and lost custody of a child, and self-marriage’s emphasis on real self-love.

Plus, self-marriage could be a good way of boosting and affirming your self-esteem. When you marry yourself, you’re no longer waiting around for ‘the one’ because you’re already filling that void. Whether you’re constantly single and appreciate being alone or in a relationship and want to confirm your love for yourself, sologamy could be for you.

Despite many women taking the plunge and agreeing that it has some incredible benefits like knowing who you really are and what you want in life, there are others who have quite the opposite reaction. Considering that we are already a society based around our own self-importance and fulfilment, some people view sologamy as narcissistic. They claim that this is just adding to the selfishness that our society is already so absorbed in.

In my own personal opinion, I wouldn’t marry myself – not because I don’t want to spend the rest of my life loving myself, but because it’s simply not in my personal beliefs. I never felt pressured to get married or meet ‘the one,’ because of how I was raised, but I certainly would get married in the future if I met the right person. I believe in self-love and self-respect, though I don’t necessarily think self-marriage would be the way that I would find that in my own life. But that doesn’t mean sologamy isn’t right for someone else.

Sologamy isn’t a substitute for a romantic relationship, and it doesn’t mean that you can no longer date other people. For some women, it just takes the pressure off of feeling the need to find a partner. So rather than searching for one person to sweep you off your feet, you can commit to yourself, knowing that love will come along when it’s meant to. Or, if a relationship isn’t quite your style, you can commit to yourself while knowing that you can date whomever, whenever.

For women, sologamy changes the old, societal rules we’ve been fed for centuries. It takes away the pressure to get married, to marry rich, to find someone good for you, that your parents’ will like, etc. While sologamy isn’t a legal union, you can still hold a ceremony, make the vows to yourself, throw a party and have a honeymoon. It promises your commitment to yourself and your life-long happiness.

We should have a continuous cycle of self-love and respect for ourselves, if not more, than we would for anyone else. So is self-marriage the answer to this? Would you marry yourself?


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