Wiping Away Santorum’s Trace

by April 17, 2012
filed under Activism
Topics ,


Finally, we can all get the taste of Santorum off our lips. America’s sweater-vest clad Republican dropped out of the Presidential race as of April 10th. Many cited the hospitalization of his three year-old daughter, Isabella, and poor poll numbers in Pennsylvania as reasons for Santorum leaving the race.

Whatever his reasons, feminists can heave a sigh of relief. Not only feminists, but also the LGBT community, immigrants, and really anyone who is not a Caucasian male. Why? Well, here for your viewing (dis)pleasure is a list of Santorum’s stance on a few of the key issues in the 2012 election:

“I am pro-life. Unequivocally.”

Big surprise. Santorum detests abortions be they early term, late term, or partial birth. What about rape? Incest? Any change of opinion? Nope: In an interview in 2011 with Meet the Press Santorum said, “I believe life begins at conception and that life should be guaranteed under the constitution.” Well, I’m glad you’re concerned about those zygotes, Santorum. They’re sure not running (crawling?) around, messing up ye old U.S of A, like their mothers.

“We are seeing the fabric of this country fall apart, and it’s falling apart because of single moms.”

Those pesky single moms. If only they would settle down with a real man, crime would just dry up. Don’t they know how their bachelorette status is holding America back? Never mind that some of these mothers struggle to provide for their kids, these ladies clearly aren’t patriotic enough! Show your national pride and marry a man, ladies. If you want to marry a woman, Santorum (does not) regret to inform you:

“We must fight in every state to make sure that marriage remains between one man and one woman.”

Don’t you just love a politician who denies human rights? Who compares homosexuality to bestiality? Sex-columnist Dan Savage loves him so much, that in a brilliant counter-measure coined the term “Santorum: The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal-sex.” I’m still waiting to see if Savage has any neologisms for Romney.

Santorum supports abstinence only sex education.

This goes along with his campaign. When he dropped out, Santorum was prevented from screwing over the White House administration. He was unable to penetrate the annals of American history. The puns go on. But honestly, abstinence-only has long been debunked as an effective strategy against teen pregnancy. In fact, in areas where sex-education is abstinence only there tends to be more teenage pregnancies, and more STIs. Abstinence only does not provide a comprehensive sex-education, and needs to be laid to rest with Santorum’s aborted campaign.

Santorum has an issue with women serving in the military.

Why, in the twenty-first century, does he have an issue with strong, capable women in the military? “Other emotions are involved,” Santorum claimed. Woah. Woah. Is he implying that women are too fragile for combat? That their unpredictable emotions will cause them to fly into feminine hysterics? Not at all. He’s worried that men “might be more concerned about protecting a woman in a vulnerable position” than the surrounding combat. Oh, so women are a hazard, men are flighty, and in no way is Santorum sexist. Gotcha.

Take a minute to shake your head, heave a sigh. Then Google Newt Gingrich and Mitt Romney, the remaining Republican candidates. One of them will be facing off with Obama in the next election, so make sure you know where they stand on the key issues: Women’s rights, gay marriage, education, immigration.

Even if you don’t live in the USA you can stay informed and start a conversation on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and the like. Because these rights involve you, no matter where you hail from.

This election, go out and make your voice heard.

Support FLURT with Spreadshirt