Car Crash Crushes: How Your Best Friend Can Be Your Worst

by October 4, 2013
filed under Sex & Dating


The author

Sometimes I think the gay gurl brain is so full of ridiculous thoughts, it’s a wonder that we can tie our own shoelaces without face-planting. First, you’re confused about why women are so mesmerising to you, and then, you achieve ultimate headfuck status when you realize you’re in love with your best friend.

Don’t act like it hasn’t happened. Even if you haven’t acknowledged the feelings, there’s always that one mate that you’ve had the inappropriate dream about, or that you hold onto just a millisecond too long for after a platonic cuddle (it’s because her hair smells so nice, right?). Sometimes, you need to quit with the denial – the writing’s on the wall; you love your friend. No, seriously, when I was at school, someone seriously wrote on the wall “Ami loves [Friend].” Mortifying eh?

Awkward childhood memories aside, crushes on friends can cause serious shifts in relationship dynamics. It doesn’t matter if your best friend and newest object of your affection is gay, bi or straight, deciding whether to act on your emotions is incredibly difficult. Because, what if it ruins EVERYTHING?

Each time she confides in you about the latest exploits of her douchebag boyfriend brings you closer to biting her earlobe, and god help you when she asks you which bra would better impress said douchebag boyfriend on their inevitable make-up date.

When you ask your other friends for advice on how to deal with all of your feels, the jury is often divided into camps: The ones that think admitting it is a horrible idea, the ones that think you guys would make “SUCH a cute couple,” and the narcissistic one that thanks you’re crushing on them.

So there really is no right answer, no convention and certainly no cure for what ails you. Sorry. Did you come here under the misapprehension that I was going to actually solve a problem?

My view on somewhat inappropriate crushes is that they pass with time, with distraction by a realistically obtainable gurl, or are totally shattered after a horrendous drunken confession that leaves you quietly sobbing into a mojito. So, 2 chances out of 3, you won’t be drunk and crying. I like those odds.

Of course, you could be emotionally mature, admit your feelings and deal with the consequences. You could also just hope that you catch her simultaneously picking her nose and scratching her bum and become instantly turned off. But because I’m about as equipped to deal with real life as a 3-toed sloth (renowned for their disinterest in confrontation), I would sooner have a small cry about it, avoid the problem and if feeling particularly adventurous, have a threesome with Ben and Jerry.


Reposted from Dattch, the social app for lesbians.

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