In the modern age of dating, finding a cute person at a cafe is off the books. If they’re alone, it is most likely they’re waiting for someone – maybe even a Tinder date. So where do us single girls have to look? Hate to break it to you, but online dating apps may be our best bet. Dating apps have a bad reputation – especially certain ones (I’m looking at you Tinder). Most people tend to correlate dating apps with one-night-stands (which is fine if that’s your thing) – but is it possible to find a decent person on there?
In the words of Justin Bieber, never say never.
To get over a crush, I spent a month swiping from left to right. There were ups and downs, but most of all I learned a lot about dating apps and importantly my own desires. Being a 23 year old who has never dated before, I was nervous for what I might encounter online – but luckily, there was the ‘unmatch’ button to help me escape every time.
“DTF?” I remember receiving this one-line message on Tinder and asking my friend next to me what that meant. She automatically told me to ‘unmatch.’ I remember being so appalled that a guy would be so straightforwardly crude for the first message, whereas I would send puppy ‘hello’ gifs. However, that’s when I learned dating apps weren’t all sunshine and flowers…I received many more weird one-liners, such as, “Can I have a nude,” “I have five empty beds in my apartment,” “do you do (insert an emoji of leaves),” etc. Eventually, I was so close to deleting my app until I received this message: “Soccer enthusiast? You better support the right club.” It was the first time someone reached out to me in regards to what was written on my bio. It made me feel proud that I was potentially swiped right because of my bio and not by my pictures.
I began talking to this person about soccer, and now that the Premier League season has started it’s been exciting to connect with someone with the same interest (although we support completely rival teams). After that one good connection, I continued to stay on for a bit longer and found myself having riveting conversation with a few other people as well. In fact, there are future plans for me to meet one of the guys in person for ice cream and not drinks.
Tinder offers a sea of people and you have to decide what kind of person you’re looking for. I learned that I want to find a person that I can go slow and steady with. No long-term commitments, but no one-night-stands either. I’ve learned to become very selective and avoid the guys with drunk photos and no bios since I’m looking for someone to start an actual conversation with. When someone has a bio it makes it easier for me to reach out first, and without one I’m at a loss on how to start a conversation.
Tinder is a game of trial and error, and through my one month I’ve learned a lot through just collecting new acronyms I had to bookmark in urban dictionary alone. Although I’m no online dating expert, below are a few tips that may come in handy for those also looking for a decent partner:
I won’t lie and say online dating app is easy. In fact, it can be very stressful. I’ve learned that the less expectation you have for these apps the easier it is to navigate through them. There will be days when someone writes weird acronyms, but there will also be spontaneous moments when someone starts a conversation asking you what your favorite soccer team is – Tottenham of course. Those small moments are the times when you’ll appreciate the beauty of online dating. Since we live in the digital age, it’s best to just accept apps like Tinder. At least with apps we can spot early on who’s just DTF.